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mysteries of the human psyche

3 December 2007

hey, i’m not completely unaware. i know i can be a raging bitch once in a while. i mean, who isn’t? (and no, that doesn’t mean monthly) we’ve all said and done things in the heat of an argument that we later wish we could wipe from the memory of our target. problem is, it’s just not that simple. if it were, i’d be carting around a rather large Pink Pearl and shooting my mouth off whenever i felt like it. lordy, could that ever be satisfying.

the thing is, i think there are multiple lessons in learning to strap the proverbial filter on when we talk to others. one, patience. two, LISTENING. three, understanding. four, humility. five, censorship. πŸ™‚ i put censorship last but i think it’s perhaps the most important of the 5 things i listed. why? well, glad you asked.

see, i’m a person who hates talking face to face and LOVES to “talk” over email. i’m just not that great in person. i trip over my words, i jumble my thoughts, i talk in circles, i’m a wreck. but on (virtual) paper, i can hammer out the most scathing, insulting email possible and then click “save”while i ponder the repercussions of sending said email. believe me, this has come in handy for me multiple times.

“are you fucking kidding me? what kind of jackhole move was that? i can’t believe you found a job somewhere other than the Super America with brilliant decision-making abilities like that” can become, “it sounds like that was the best move for you given the situation. can we talk about other options in case we run into something like this in the future?” oh Pink Pearl, how I love you so.

Pink Pearl

so, yeah, i can be a bitch… and no one needs to know.

other people though, other people seem to have either lost the bitch filter, in both face to face interactions AND over email, or are just too caught up in their own awesomeness to realize that the world in fact does NOT revolve around them. perhaps they should have their own titles (or their own planet) like John Doe, S.A.P. (self-absorbed prick) or something entirely more brilliant (a little help here Scott?). at least then you would know what you were getting yourself into when you started a conversation with one of them.

it’s these people that make me the most crazy. the self-righteous, egocentric assholes that i encounter every day of my life. the people who think they are always right. the people who have that “my way or the highway” mentality. the people who think their idea is the only good one. i’m a stubborn Scorpio but if someone presents me with a well thought out plan/idea/POV opposite my own and does it without pausing to insult my intelligence or beliefs along the way, chances are, i’m going to be pretty darn receptive. imagine that. (feel free to try this tactic out on your wife. you can thank me for the blow job later.)

so, at any rate, i guess i’ll just never understand why people think they can spew bullshit in your general direction but then be mystified as to why the whole situation stinks. put the filter on. keep the bullshit to yourself. take out your aggression on your treadmill or pop a xanax.

just please, be nice. i’ve had it.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. 4 December 2007 10:41 am

    I think studies have proven people who I, harbor their verbal tirades don’t live as long as those who let it out. But, I tend to follow the pink eraser rule, too. The pompous assholes of the world (aka – slicky-boy/girl used car sales people) shouldn’t get that courtesy, but my filter is [almost] always on. Given just the right mix of circumstances I’ve been known to lose my cool … but I’m usually alone, in the car where I rehearse the words with the music turned way, WAY up. By the time the confrontation arrives, I’m back in my Eraser Costume (think Gumby boy look-alike).

  2. 4 December 2007 1:09 pm

    There are several people that I’d like to put the pink eraser to. As it were.

    The SAPs (Self-Absorbed Pricks) are a good one.

    The F-3s (Forced Fashion Fanatics – Those people who are trying waaaaaaaay too hard to make a fashion statement. “Does this belt make me look Europeanish?”)

    The Undie Bundlers (People who fret over everything and any deviation from flight plan makes them get that four-pack of hot dogs on their forehead.)

    Manthrax (Guys who treat women like crap yet seem to keep on finding more and more victims.)

    Nowstalgists (People who are sentimental for stuff that happened like two years ago. “Remember when we got our first Wii? Awwww.” If it seems like only yesterday, that’s because it was!)

    But the people who really deserve a Big Pink Rubout (great band name) are who I call The Obliveratti. People who are lost in their own little self-important bubble to notice their actions or lack of attention are putting a kink in everyone else’s progress.

    And people who are judgemental are all jerks.

    Sigh. It’s so nice to be perfect. πŸ™‚

  3. sunnydelsol7 permalink
    31 December 2007 1:50 am

    You now have a favorites link on my toolbar πŸ™‚

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