mysteries of the human psyche
hey, i’m not completely unaware. i know i can be a raging bitch once in a while. i mean, who isn’t? (and no, that doesn’t mean monthly) we’ve all said and done things in the heat of an argument that we later wish we could wipe from the memory of our target. problem is, it’s just not that simple. if it were, i’d be carting around a rather large Pink Pearl and shooting my mouth off whenever i felt like it. lordy, could that ever be satisfying.
the thing is, i think there are multiple lessons in learning to strap the proverbial filter on when we talk to others. one, patience. two, LISTENING. three, understanding. four, humility. five, censorship. 
i put censorship last but i think it’s perhaps the most important of the 5 things i listed. why? well, glad you asked.
see, i’m a person who hates talking face to face and LOVES to “talk” over email. i’m just not that great in person. i trip over my words, i jumble my thoughts, i talk in circles, i’m a wreck. but on (virtual) paper, i can hammer out the most scathing, insulting email possible and then click “save”while i ponder the repercussions of sending said email. believe me, this has come in handy for me multiple times.
“are you fucking kidding me? what kind of jackhole move was that? i can’t believe you found a job somewhere other than the Super America with brilliant decision-making abilities like that” can become, “it sounds like that was the best move for you given the situation. can we talk about other options in case we run into something like this in the future?” oh Pink Pearl, how I love you so.
so, yeah, i can be a bitch… and no one needs to know.
other people though, other people seem to have either lost the bitch filter, in both face to face interactions AND over email, or are just too caught up in their own awesomeness to realize that the world in fact does NOT revolve around them. perhaps they should have their own titles (or their own planet) like John Doe, S.A.P. (self-absorbed prick) or something entirely more brilliant (a little help here Scott?). at least then you would know what you were getting yourself into when you started a conversation with one of them.
it’s these people that make me the most crazy. the self-righteous, egocentric assholes that i encounter every day of my life. the people who think they are always right. the people who have that “my way or the highway” mentality. the people who think their idea is the only good one. i’m a stubborn Scorpio but if someone presents me with a well thought out plan/idea/POV opposite my own and does it without pausing to insult my intelligence or beliefs along the way, chances are, i’m going to be pretty darn receptive. imagine that. (feel free to try this tactic out on your wife. you can thank me for the blow job later.)
so, at any rate, i guess i’ll just never understand why people think they can spew bullshit in your general direction but then be mystified as to why the whole situation stinks. put the filter on. keep the bullshit to yourself. take out your aggression on your treadmill or pop a xanax.
just please, be nice. i’ve had it.
